Settling in

We have been home for a little over a week, well ten days to be exact. The first week home was one of emotions, that is for sure. First of all, after we got home from Calgary both Paul and Noah got even more sick and I too still was not feeling my best; not exactly the ideal situation for having a new little one in the house. I was so dissapointed...it wasnt supposed to be that way. It was suposed to be a week of family fun and getting to know each other, instead it was just about surviving. What is truly amazing about the whole thing is that Brandy was so okay, and is still so okay. She plays so nicely by herself, snuggles so sweetly and is just all around easy going. The only time she cries is when we put her to bed and even then it is short-lived. So for that first week we stayed close to home and tried to set her schedual and learn all of the little things about her.

When we were learning about Brandy the information we were given discribed her as quite delayed, about a year in fact; and since having her home I am realizing that she was under estimated. She says lots of words, not just 'chicken-chicken' and understands what you ask of her. I think that the more that we can ask and expect of her the farther that she will go. Teaching playschool has definetly given me the experiance to recognise what Brandy needs and what she is already capable of. I think that a little bit of one on one time and the right pre school programs will help her just that much more.

We have had many visitors over the last while. On the first saturday we were home Amber, Aaron and the girls came over. On the Sunday both my dad and Pauls parents came to meet her. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday Noah was home sick from school and so our next visitor came on Thursday, my cousin Christine. On Friday Brandy and I went to the mall for Lunch with my dear friends Andrea and Helen. On Saturday Brandy met Michelle, a friend of mine that works at Christine's hair salon and then on Sunday, (yesterday) Pauls brother, wife and kids came to visit in the morning. In the afternoon Christine brought the rest of her family and then last night Pauls youngest brother came to visit. And that is only a hand-full of the people that want to meet Brandy!

Marcus and Noah have been adjusting to our new life, both well and not-so-well. We have seen an increase in some of marcus's anxiety behaiviors. His vocal ticks from his Tourettes have returned as well as the picking of his skin. He looks tired most of the time and wants more physical contacat with me. Paul and I have agreed to give it another couple of weeks and see what happens before we rush him to his therapisits. On a good note, Marcus has phyisically had more contact with Brandy, giving her kisses goodnight and holding her in the pool when we went swimming. He is having a hard time putting to words why he is feeling the way that he is, but he is telling us that everything is making him nervous; fencing, school, horseback, family. Noah wears his emotions alot more visible. On Thursday of last week he was able to say that Brandy was making him crazy, that he needed a break from her. He is overwhelmed by the amount of visitors that we have had and frustrated by the amount of love and excitment that they are showing Brandy. He feels both jelous by the attention that she is getting and annoyed that people are loving on HIS sister. Like Marcus, Noah kisses Brandy goodnight and picks her up but he also gets a lot of joy by being the first one in her room in the morning and getting her out of bed. Both of the boys are missing the house the way it was, without the baby gate at the stairs or the little toys all over the living room. They miss being able to watch shows about the war and play some of their video games. Paul and I have decsided to move the video games and DVD player downstairs so that they can have a space to do those things and not have Brandy see them.

The changes have affected all of us. It is strange to see tub-toys in the bath tub and to smell pooppy diapers. It is a reawakening of a person that I was six years ago. I find myself remembering all of the details that before came so easy to us. Things like packing an extra change of clothes in the diaper bag or having a small spoon and fork in the bag also. I am certainly loving having Brandy in our life, it is just change to the tenth degree. I have registered her and I for a music together class and am looking into a moms and tots gymnastics. Both of these things I did with the boys and truthfully did not enjoy them, but it is important and so I am going to try again with Brandy. What it is about theses type of activities is that I do not really appreciate the other moms. I hate that the conversation always works its way back to giving birth and diapers. I really do not enjoy the shallow converstation and the constant comparison of one child to the other, a practice that always leaves one mom feeling like a failure and scared that her child is not good enough. Life if too short. But what is different this time around is that I dont really give a shit as to what the other parents think of me or Brandy. She is perfectly-perfect the way she is and I could care less if so-and-so's daughter is already potty trained or if so-and-so's son is playing piano! I have been in those programs and now realise that it is not the most important part of my day, that yes they are fun and promote learning and confidence in your children but that merly taking your child there does not make you a good parent. Anyway....