Don't get me wrong I do love Paul, very much however I am not sure that I like him all of the time! He is extremely busy. Paul owns his own business (he is a computer guy) and has for fifteen years, that in itself is a lot. Paul also coaches football and throws heavy things with the Alberta Scottish Athletic Association. He is just plain busy. So, my venting is this...
We live in an older home that was built in the 50's and whereas we have renovated some of it we have been unable to renovate our bathroom upstairs because it needs to be gutted and we cant do that unless we have a pot-to-piss-in, so to speak. Our upstairs bathroom was renovated in the 80's and it would have been a perfect location to shoot a porn truthfully. On one of the walls there is floor to ceiling mirror (whatever you do, don't look to your left while sitting on the toilet), the other walls are floor to ceiling tile, the floor is honeycomb tile, the sink is the shape of a sea shell, the ceiling is cedar wood paneling and the shower is missing the door so we have to use a shower curtain.
If the bathroom was just ugly then I could deal with that but its not. The bathroom is falling apart by the day. Shortly after we moved into the house (eight years ago) we lost some of the tile from the wall beside the door. The honeycomb floor is coming apart and our sweet Brandy likes to pick off the pieces daily, we now have a huge hole in the middle of the floor. Our tub, although I have cleaned it with bleach and a scrub brush many times will spew putrid black flakes if you turn the jets on. The shower? Don't get me started. It is so old that the plastic is breaking down and can no longer be cleaned. The doors on the vanity don't close properly and the door to the bathroom itself will not stay closed unless there is a towel on the top of it to wedge into the door frame. Although if you lock the door you cant open it....hm?
My dear friend Helen suggested that I just glue the floor tile on and truthfully I'm not interested, and for a couple of reasons. I am hoping that the worse that it gets the faster my husband will move to get the basement bathroom done. And also, if I glue tiles down I will never be able to get them off when it comes time to actually do it.
Having one bathroom for a family of five just logistically does not work anymore either. There have been many times when one of us is banging on the door to go while someone else is rushing to get off. And forget privacy when taking a bath, quite often I am interrupted with a child using the toilet while I'm in there. Ugh.
I love Paul, I really do but he has no follow through and even less free time. And he is not very handy so things take him longer to complete. I try to do what I can to help out. We are not the type of family that has extra cash laying around and so we do home repairs ourselves to keep the costs down. So right now the downstairs bathroom is waiting to be drywalled. Then there is the floor, ceiling, installing the fixtures and paint. I will do the mudding and taping of the drywall (a job that I detest) as well as the tiling of the floor and the painting but I am not strong enough to drywall or install the fixtures by myself.
So I gave my hubby an ultimatum, finish the bathroom or you can not go play with your friends on the 14th (he has a highland games). I hated doing it, we just don't have that kind of marriage, and truthfully I would never stop him from going. But I need him. I need him to physically do somethings around our house. As a family we need him to choose us. See, he always makes throwing a priority and he never misses a game. our home needs to be the priority. Also, football starts in August and so I can kiss him goodbye from August to October.
The other issue is that today we are supposed to be leaving to go to the lake. Paul's parents own a cabin and today we are supposed to be out there getting the cabin ready for the summer. It is not helping at that cabin that I mind it is just that our home needs help. It is a long weekend and wouldn't it be lovely to spend those three days renovating?
So, right now I am sitting here with steam coming out of my ears and Paul is nowhere to be found. Where is he you ask? Working. He had a server go down and he is at a clients. Again (for the third trip in a row) I am left to pack and get ready to go. I have done all of the grocery shopping, laundry and packing without any of his help at all. Granted, he is working. I am just enormously frustrated with his lack of presence at home. I need more of him, I need him to choose us BEFORE he chooses football and heavy events.
Our 14th wedding anniversary is on Wednesday and I am just not sure what it will hold. My love for him is unwavering, I cannot imagine life without him, although right now I am not too happy either. I guess I don't feel much like celebrating.
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