It seems that it has been a year since I have been on this blog, and it is true that it has been a year since I posted anything but it has not been a full year since I wrote something.
The truth of it is? There is a lot of pressure when you have a blog to be posting the right things, to get the right followers, to get the amount of followers, to be listed as "one of the top 10" something-or-other. So, I lost sight of it all and I would write something then delete it, write something else and delete that too.
Truthfully? I don't even have anyone pressuring me, truthfully I don't have any followers to even think about. It has been me feeling (yet again) not good enough. Not good enough to have a blog...whatever that means. And now as I sit and write this I feel a HUGE amount of guilt for not seeing it through and therefor not blogging and journaling all of the things that have happened in a year! Truly its a viscous circle of phychosis; I didn't blog because I felt that I would be judged and now I am judging myself for not blogging. Ugh, its exhausting really.
With much coaching from my therapist I am learning to not-give-a-shit as to what people think and to think things myself in a normal, logical fashion; So I have decided to try this again. And this time without deleting any of my posts.
Stay tuned for the update from this year.
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