Well my Marcus and my Noah have been through alot lately. First it was Christmas and the business that goes with that, then it was a death of someone close to us, then it was the trip to get Brandy, then it was getting sick and missing school and now for poor Noah it is a new orthodontic appliance that has been put in his mouth. OY!
I have talked to both of their teachers and they have all seen an increase in anxiety of BOTH boys, not just our Marcus with the diagnosed anxiety disorder. So today I made appointments for both of them to see our psychologist. We knew that the process of adopting and then bringing a new child home would be hard on the boys but I guess I was not really prepared.
We have seen a return of many of Marcus's ticks (from his Tourettes Syndrome), obsessions / compulsions (from his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and general anxiety behaviour. His poor hands are red and cracked from the return of his hand washing. Being afraid and disgusted by germs is a constant for Marcus although he usually manages the need to compulsively wash quite well. We try to ensure that he eats well, sleeps enough and has a manageable amount of stress; doing so (along with medications) allow him function really, very well. Lately, obviously we haven't been able to keep it balanced enough for him. He was so upset the other day when he accidentally touched an apple core in the van garbage that he was begging me to pull over the car so that he could wash his hands. Obviously rational thought was not an option because it didn't occur to him that pulling over didn't magically make a sink and soap appear. As for the ticking, well he is back to saying 'excuse me' over and over again. Yes I know that as far a Tourettes is concerned, a vocal tick such as saying excuse me is really rather pleasant. However, when you count your child saying 'excuse me' forty-seven times in one minute it is distressing none-the-less. Knowing that his stress level is so high that he cannot control his own brain is so sad. He has also started picking his skin on his foot again and it is starting to crack, which obviously hurts him. My sweet boy.
As for our Noah, he puts a tremendous amount of pressure on himself and we have always tried to help him work through it, doing things like reassuring him that he is perfectly perfect the way he is. Lately however the pressure is too much. We actually have seen an increase since football this summer. He is always so worried about disappointing a coach or a teacher, failing a test or not making a tackle. He doesn't want to let himself cry and gets embarrassed when showing emotion. It seems that since we have brought Brandy home he is even more worried about these things, even more concerned about being right, perfect, responsible and the 'model citizen'.
So, we have booked them both some appointments with our child psychologist and are giving them all of the love and snuggles that we can. We will keep a close eye on them and work with their teachers to keep them safe and loved. I am sure that it will all calm down with time, right?
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