So I know that I shouldn't be bitching but seeing as how this is my blog...
Okay so I was talking to Paul's brother today and he was asking about the adoption, I told him about my frustration and how I have begun to try to move on. His response was that I should stay positive and not rule out any miracles or choices in the future. Yeah? Well screw you! He has no idea what I have sacrificed, how I have changed and the tole that this process has taken on me or our family. People say the most ridiculous things in situations like this. stuff like, "well now your gonna get pregnant" and "you should just be happy to be approved" and "have patience, it will happen when it is supposed to". FUCK OFF!
I want it now, and I am allowed to want it now! I am allowed to say that waiting sucks, I am allowed to feel like God has abandoned me (and please don't throw that Footprints bullshit in my face), I am allowed to feel as though two years is too long and perhaps this was a mistake, that perhaps it is time to move on. I am allowed to cry because of the situation. And yes, I am well aware of how beautiful my life is, how lucky I am to have the family that I do. Nobody needs to tell me that, nobody needs to remind me. I am allowed to be frustrated with what I cant have while I celebrate what I do have.
I do not expect anyone to understand (and I am not saying that in a self righteous way), it is impossible unless you are in our situation. And even if you were in our situation you may or may not feel differently. All I am asking is that if you don't understand try to empathise, or at least please do not say any of the cliche responses. I would prefer you to just say "bummer".
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